Ladies even though men like the meek spirit … they also love a challenge.
*Men also need to be kept on their toes. Men generally get lazy in a relationship once security is found. Therefore, you will need to be a fire under their rear at times. They may resist the initial challenge, but over the long haul they will respect that you have fulfilled your duty in getting their best out of them.
*Ladies: this does not mean to nag … but to strongly encourage a man to get up off the couch and be the man! Let them know you need them to be the man! And that you love them and want to help them to be the great person that God has made him to be.
*Men don’t let this offend you:
But if you never work, mow the yard, clean the garage, take care of your vehicle, or yourself … all it says about you is and that you are lazy and do not make your home life a priority. When your spouse helps you in this area … it is not just to her advantage, but to yours.
Pr. 15:19 tells us that a slothful man is as a hedge of thorns; but a righteous man a built up highway.
*Now ladies to you … do not use manipulation as a means of getting what you want from your husbands. You need to have his intrest at heart. This does not mean that it will not benefit you and the entire house, but the interest needs to be toward your husband, and not selfish.
What it means to Manipulate:
Manipulate:
To play with skillful and artfully to gain advantage.
Women are terrible about using sex as a means of manipulation. Sex should be a mutual intimacy not a tool to get castrate your husband.
Delilah a was a master manipulator, she was a tool toward Samson's destruction, through her cunning manipulation skills. Laides ~ you are Christ like … do not become Delilah minded!
Marriage / Relationships are not about advantage. They are working together as a team, in unity with mutual respect.
Women have been know to offer or withhold intimacy for advantage … women don’t do it … men don’t allow it.
Women, men don’t want to be alone … they like you being there.
So long term separations are not healthy. Men can deal … but they need you to be with them. You may need to go away for a few days, a week maybe even longer in emergencies … but men need you to stay close. So if you are apart … communicate, and come together as often as possible during these times.
Example: Away at mission school and on mission trips.
* Ladies … men do not need you to be one of the guys …
When your husband goes hunting with the guys, don’t think that you have to tag along. … Please don’t … another woman unbalanced and secure, may decide you are the deer of choice and take you out!
There are co-ed sports that you can join together, if sports is your thing. You can take walks together, go boating, vacating together. You can do movies, theaters, picnicking and camping. Be adventurous … be free … you can even be boring like us, if it works for you, but be balanced! Live your lives secure in Christ and have individual lives and then have your life of togetherness.
Ladies one more time, never try to be one of the guys. If you do your husband will never look at you the way you need him to.
Men and Women need whole partners … So stay connected to God and heal and then remain healthy … spirit, soul and body. Hurting people … hurt people.
*If you want the hurt to stop you have to allow God to heal you.
*How?
Push yourself to be in church every time the doors are open.
Go to meetings that minister into needs, where you are weak.
Read literature that will help you.
And always spend time with God in Word and prayer.
You may also need to get godly counsel.
Now women tend to do these things more than men as a general rule, but men need to be in church as much as women. They need to spend just as much time with God in prayer. Men need to read literature, get counsel and be educated just like women do, if they want to move forward in any area of life, including better relationships.
*Let me add here … I know some of you are here without your spouses. And you are doing all you know to do, and your spouses are not be giving much to these areas … but remember … God is faithful. He even told us through the wisdom of Paul … that your lives of faith can work toward the sanctification of the marriage, and may even work toward the salvation and master workmanship of Father God for them.
Relationships need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism.
Ladies one way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate yourself more effectively. TALK!
Men can not read your mind!
They can not interpret emotions!
They need you to tell them what you want and need.
Women I know that you want them to just know what you need. And at times they may … but when they don’t … help ‘em out! Don’t just set around pouting for days.
Men or Women do no like being deceived or lied to.
*woman do not hide things from your husband … husbands do not hide things from your wife. Be open books
Healthy … strong men and women … like emotional maturity.
They are not interested in raising a child called a husband or wife.
*Temper tantrums, pouting spells, the constant need for new toys and leaving bills unpaid, or running to parents with your problems have to be put away.
*I Cor. 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a (full grown), I put away childish things.
*Ladies, men don’t know what to do with all of your loose emotions.
*Men, ladies do not know what to do with all of your closed off silence or boughts of anger (verbal rage).
Emotions must be managed if a marriage is to be at its best.
Joyce Meyer has a book called managing you emotions … and I can’t find anywhere on that book, where it is only for women. So men if you have emotions upsets … or imbalances … use the material. Women … anyone of you would not lose by reading and applying it.
If you have chemical problems that can not be dealt with through self control … please take a pill, until you receive your healing!
This is not counseling... this is a series of blogs to wake us to some partical insights that can help us to walk in stronger, healthier and happier marriages and general relationships when applied.
Next Blog: More insights concerning Marriage and Relationships
