Marriage Class # 2

Heb 10:24
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:









For years I have heard people say things like:

• In a good marriage you have to learn how to fight.
• If people tell you that they are married and never fight or argue they are lying.

I have even heard these things preached from the pulpit.
I disagree, with both evidence and experience.

Greg and I have been married 22 years in July. We dated 2 years prior to that. And I could use my fingers with some left over to tell you the times we have had arguments.

I could use one hand to count an argument that lasted until bedtime. In this time frame, there were no fights, just no solutions.

And fighting … we don’t! We do not throw things, use verbal abuse, there is no screaming and yelling, and there is definitely no physical abuses.

People do not need to learn how to fight, they need to learn how to get along. They need to walk in unity and harmony. Couples need to communicate and walk in love. Any fighting that goes on in a marriage should be a husband and wife fighting a good fight of faith together with love as the catalyst.

There are some things about men and women, that you might not know, that can be tools toward this kind of marriage. So let me bring them to your attention.


From various polls, we find a list of ten things that men generally want from women.

1. He wants sexual fulfillment.
2. He wants a recreational play mate.
3. He wants you to be beautiful.
4. He wants a committed homemaker.
5. He wants admiration.
6. He wants moral virtue. *
7. He wants someone with a sense of humor.
8. He wants intelligence.
9. He wants faithfulness … someone he can trust. *
10. He wants someone who is completely honest. *

*If you will notice 3 of those 10 have the same tone, making this list revolve around 7 things that men consider priority.


Now let me give you a list of ten things that women want in a men.

1. They want a man to be Godly (Spiritual)
   
2. They want Romance.
3. They want a sense of humor.
4. They want a good communicator.
5. They want honest.
   
6. They want a provider.
7. They want a family man.
8. They want respect.
9. They want leadership.
   
10. They want faithfulness.

Again many of the things women have listed, have the same tones.
And if compared to what men want, the women register near the same desires as men 8 out of 10 times.

Men and Women generally want the same things. We are diverse in creation, and we often think differently, but we have desires and feelings that are much the same.

It may surprise women to find that men want someone to love, and that they like being loved.
Therefore, if women come across as cold and impassive men turn away. They may go inward and grow cold and indifferent toward women. If they are not morally strong, they may go outward toward affairs. So ladies keep the fire burning!

Ladies Christian men want their woman to be attractive just as all men do. This does not mean that you have to be a catwalk model. It does not mean you have to be a 80 lb. walking mantis. But it does mean that you need to take care of yourself.

Men, if you are expecting a woman who looks like your sports illustrate center fold, or your TV show girl, then take a picture of your wife; go to a graphic artist; let him cut, paste, and stretch until you get her. Because that is not reality, nor is it mature thinking, and to a woman it is degrading and a total turn off! It may also add undue stress to a woman, that can be dangerous, not only for her, but, also for you!

Ladies take care of yourself, and to do your best to look nice. Diet and exercise. Groom yourself. Put some make up on and dress attractively. But men, get real, or move to plastic city and date Barbie, that is, if you can afford her, and deal with the fact that she has no brain!

Men do not want their woman flirting with others, they don’t even like the appearance of it! Men want faithfulness. Men want to be the number 1. They want to be the apple of your eye. They want to be your magnifico, your Hero! And they want everyone else to know it.

Men stay balanced. Don’t let jealousy cause you to be controlling. There is a difference between women making you their number one, and you controlling them because of your own insecurities. Stay in the Word and allow God to affirm you, and when you treat women like Christ treats the church, she too will affirm you!

Ladies Jealousy is a one way street with cars coming from each direction. Just as your husband has to be careful of jealousy so do you. Pro. 6:34 says: ... Jealous is the rage of man. This lets us know that Jealousy will cause wars, and is always destructive.

Remember … stay balanced.

Don’t over exhaust good things, or grow weary trying to create, or control. Love often requires change, but it also rest! When two people are willing to change, God will lead, and Grace will always have to be administered.

Men want a home life. They like the security of home. And although they do not need you to be their mother. They do often need you to do things that their mother has previously done. Things like keeping house, doing laundry, making sure things are kept in order, and affirming them through your words.

Pro. 31:27 tells us as ladies, that we are to look well to the ways of our household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Men, scripture is not a waring text, used brow beat your wives. Again that is control and tyranny. It also does not mean that you don’t help out, remember: consider one another. Help each other. Encourage and motivate each other through acts of love and good deeds.

Ladies … Men normally want women to have a good sense of humor. To know-how to relax and have fun as well as to care for daily responsibilities. Being uptight about everything, all the time, is stressful and not healthy. Most men like relaxing, or having a good time once the work day is over, and household responsibilities are through, and they like their it when you join them.

Men … any well rounded woman does not rest and have fun until the house is in order, and her family cared for, so give her room, and if you want to play help her out. Your good time may begin in the kitchen helping her finish up the dishes.